When you look at the average person, you probably won’t be able to tell who an abuser is and who they aren’t. In fact, an abuser may look like they love their family and nothing is wrong at all. Keep in mind that most abuse people tend to abuse their victims behind closed doors. You won’t always be able to tell who they are. Who are the abusers?
Abusers do have similar qualities to each other though. Most abusers do not take responsibility for their actions and have low self-esteem. In most abuse situations it is men abusing females. However, there are females that abuse males as well.
One thing is certain, most abusers accuse the victim of causing the violence. If you or someone you love is a victim of abuse, it is NEVER YOUR FAULT.
Who Are The Domestic Abusers?
The domestic abusers in any situation are the one person that has control over the other. Some abusers are married to their partners and others are not. Some may be in a friendship situation. The more common types of domestic abusers are in a relationship.
The people in a relationship could be hetero, gay, separated, boyfriend and girlfriend, or married. They could be people who have been together for a short period of time or a long period of time.
Different Types of Abuse
If you understand abuse at all, then you know there is no right or wrong way to be abused. Abuse comes in many forms. Here are some of the most common types of abuse:
- Sexual Assault
- Keeping money from your partner
- Physical harm
- Emotional harm
Abuse also doesn’t have a frequency. Even if it happens one time, that’s one time too many. Sometimes abuse happens all at once or it happens a little at a time.
Remember that victims come in many different races, sizes, cultures, and sexes. If you are being abused it’s important to not blame yourself and to reach out to someone who can help you!
What is Domestic Violence and Abuse?
To put it in simple terms, domestic violence is when one person tries to control or harm another person. As mentioned before, it can happen to anyone at any time. It’s important to keep an eye out on your friends and family who may be suffering from abuse.
Most of the time, domestic abuse will start with certain threats and then work its way up to physical abuse. There are emotional and psychological effects of abuse. Some of the emotional and cognitive effects you may not even notice for years to come.
Why Do Abusers Abuse?
There are many reasons an abuser might abuse. Sometimes there is no reason at all but for the sheer fact that they like to control someone else.
Other abusers may abuse because they really like the feeling of power over someone else. An abuser may be abusive because they have been the victim in a situation. An abuser may be addicted to drugs or alcohol and this may help to even escalate things or make it worse.
The truth is that no one knows the exact reason an abuser may abuse someone else. Most of the time, it’s a pattern that was passed down from someone in their family. Another reason could be that the person deals with anger. Another reason could be that they like to control and feeling of power.
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
If you have been reading this and are wondering what the signs of an abusive relationship are, here is a list. When you feel as though you’re tiptoeing around in a relationship, it’s important to look at the relationship as a whole.
Are you afraid of your partner? If you feel as though you are truly afraid of your partner or what they may say or do, this is a sign you’re in an abusive relationship. It’s all about psychology and how one person can exert power over another person.
Can’t Do Anything Right
When you are in a relationship and the person makes you feel as though you can’t do anything right, this could be a sign that you’re in an abusive relationship.
You Feel Numb or Helpless
An abuser has the power to make you feel numb and helpless. If your partner constantly makes you feel like you’re in this emotional state, then you may be in an abusive relationship.
Other Signs of Being in an Abusive Relationship
The other signs of being in an abusive relationship include humiliating you, criticizing, putting you down, or blaming you for their abusive behavior.
There are many signs of being in an abusive relationship. The important thing is that you recognize these signs of being in an abusive relationship and you get out as soon as possible.
Abusers may also do the following…
- Humiliation – abusers will work hard to lower your self-esteem and make you feel super worthless.
- Dominance – abusers will work hard to make sure they feel dominant in the situation. They will demand you obey them and listen to them at all costs.
- Isolation – an abuser will cut you off from everyone you’ve ever known. They will stop you from seeing friends and family.
Abusers will take the time to abuse those who are close to them. They don’t abuse everyone in their life. Abusers will also be very careful WHEN they abuse. They make sure no one else is around before they abuse someone. Keep in mind that an abuser can start or stop abuse any time they want. They will also make sure to hit you or abuse you where no one else can see the abuse.
It’s important to recognize the cycle of abuse, which is:
- Normal Behavior
The cycle continues on and on until the victim gets help. If you’re a person who needs help make sure you reach out to someone you feel comfortable with that can help you.