Domestic violence has destroyed the lives of many individuals and families alike. And, it continues to do so.
Even with so many laws and acts, we, as a society continue to curb this problem. Why’s that?!
The primary reason is; many people don’t even understand the depth of it. Domestic violence is not just an act of physical or psychological abuse.
It goes well beyond that. It’s safe to say that DV is a system of several abusive acts. And, most abuse incidents involve more than one of these horrible acts.
Don’t get it yet?! Well, this detailed guide on the violence wheel will definitely make you understand the bells and whistle of domestic abuse.
What is the Violence Wheel?
Ellen Pence, along with a few others has created the Power and Control wheel. It is being used by many people to demonstrate the working mechanism of domestic violence.
Yeah, it is also known as the Violence Wheel. However, there’s another wheel too, which is, the Equality Wheel.
By studying this wheel, you can understand how abusers commit those terrible crimes. Without further ado, let’s get into it.
So, the violence wheel contains a total of eight segments. Each portion covers a specific violence category.
- Coercion & Threats: This is a type of authoritative behavior, where the batterer tries to control the victim through threats.
The abuser may force the victim to do something and threaten if ignored. Some people make threats of physical assault, to get something from you. Or, to make you do something.
It may involve forceful sex as well. They may even ask you for money, and if rejected, they might warn you of consequences.
Does it ring any bell? Did you ever experience such behavior from anyone you know?!
One can say that this is the first stage of violent behavior. If not stopped, the abusers will go over and beyond. It’s better to cut the root, rather than waiting for it to grow and become an evil tree.
Sometimes, they may also tell you that they’re going to commit suicide if you don’t comply with their demands. They might also do such ridiculous things to make you drop charges.
- Intimidation: Oh yeah, we’re now talking about the next level DV. When they’re not stopped at the first step, they may resort to intimidation tactics.
This could go well beyond threats. They may actually do harm to you. Most of the times, that proceeds a warning or threat.
Here, they try to make you afraid through their looks, words, or actions. When they sense that you’re not scared enough, they may go the extra mile.
Things like, damaging your properties, hurting your pets, or displaying weapons are very normal for them. Yeah, they don’t feel any remorse either.
If you’ve ever experienced such behavior, report the incident as soon as possible. Take the help of the police. If you don’t do so, you may end up with a few bruises or broken bones, or maybe even worse.
Would you want that?! No, right? So, don’t neglect or overlook the signs. They’ll always display their intentions one way or another.
- Emotional Abuse: This might not sound like a serious issue, but it is. Actually, this might affect the victim worse than physical abuse.
Because, you can get your injuries treated easily. But, a broken soul is very hard to restore. And, that’s what exactly we’re talking here.
The offenders attack their victims psychologically. They try to bring you down with their words or actions.
They use cheap tactics such as calling you names, insulting you publicly, or any other similar action.
They will also make you feel guilty, even if you haven’t committed any mistake. Talk about super manipulators!
People with childhood trauma are highly prone to this form of abuse. Because, they’ve already experienced some horrible things in their past.
These people are great at mind games. They fool you and you don’t even realize that. They’re such energy-drainers. Also, this form of violence has long-term effects on the victim.
And it’s also quite difficult to recover from such trauma. So, act before it gets too late.
- Isolation: What happens when someone gets too possessive?! Well, they go crazy and make others suffer. That’s exactly what we have here.
Some guys want full control over their partners. They want to know the places she goes to, people she meets, and things she does. And then, they will try to isolate you from those things.
They will stop you from meeting your friends and family. They may even stop you from going to your favorite coffee shop.
They may also resort to stalking to see how you’re doing and whom you’re meeting. Pretty annoying, right?!
Well, it gets worse. If you don’t act in time, they may go even crazier. If they feel that you’re doing something that they dislike, they might want to hurt you.
That leads to a physical assault. We don’t want that to happen, do we?!
So, to avoid that, take action as soon as you see some signs. They’re everywhere. Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you have to obey their orders.
Tell them that you’re independent and you will lead your life the way you like to. If you accept their demands, they will make more. Remember that!
- Denying, Blaming, and Minimizing: Some horrible guys out there don’t even feel any guilt. They have no remorse and they don’t feel bad for their wrongdoings.
“Oh, that was you. If you haven’t behaved that way, we wouldn’t have this quarrel”.
“Why are you badmouthing about me, when I didn’t even do anything to you?”
“That’s just a bruise, it will wear off. Now, go make some coffee.”
Sounds familiar?! Well, that’s how they behave. Some batterers straight up deny that they hurt you.
Some may make light of their terrible behavior. Some even blame you for their awful acts.
These are cold-blooded people, who don’t feel any sort of empathy. You can go further and even call them psychopaths.
When you encounter such type of behavior, ran away as far as possible from them. Don’t hope that they’re going to change. That will never happen.
But, before ending things with them, don’t forget to report these incidents to the authorities.
- Using Children: These are some of the worst kinds of people out there. What kind of people take advantage of kids and use them to get things done?!
Well, there are people that do this. These abusers use children to hurt you. And that hurt may come in different forms.
Usually, they make you feel guilty for your children’s situation, whatever trouble they’re having. Like, blaming you when your kids get poor grades.
When they stop talking to you, they will use your kids to relay messages to you. It may not sound that bad.
But, think about this. Your kids go through extreme trauma, when they sense that things are bad between you and your partner. They even get worried.
Few people even use the visitation to harass the victim. And, it’s quite difficult to avoid, since visitations are their right. But, you can stop that by reporting to the police. Don’t keep quiet.
- Economic Abuse: This is a highly prevalent abuse. Many women suffer from this type of domestic violence. Especially, the married ones.
Here, the abuser might resort to preventing their partner from going to a job. Or, they may force their partner to quit the existing job.
They may also ask you money and abuse you when you reject their request. They might also take money from you and then harass you by not returning the amount.
Some people even hide or remove access to family income. This can cause a severe financial impact on the victim.
This DV can also take a heavy toll on your career. Everyone has the right to make a living. Never allow someone to your employment right from you.
- Gender Privilege: Here, the batterers are mostly men. However, there is a small section of women who commit this crime.
The abuser mistreats their partner, just because they’re born into a different gender. Very unfair, right?!
But, they still do it anyway. They might treat their victim like a maid or a servant. Some terrible guys even go further and make their partner a slave.
And they also try to form gender roles. Like ordering you to do something, because you’re a woman. And, rewarding themselves with special privileges, because of their gender.
Basically, they treat their victims as low-lifers. They love humiliating others and get joy out of others’ agony. If you ever face this issue, don’t even wait for a minute.
Get out of there and file a complaint. These people deserve severe punishment, rightly so.
Break the power and control wheel
If you’re a victim, know your worth and destroy this cycle of emotional abuse wheel. Don’t let someone control your life.
You’re much better than that. Isn’t it?!
Then, why wait and suffer?! Seek help! You can either reach out to your friends or family, or you can hire a lawyer to assist you.
Do whatever you can, but don’t stay and tolerate the violence anymore.